The Texas Times, Volume 19

Greetings from San Antonio and welcome to the 19th annual Wilkins Family Holiday Missive! I've begun typing this after handing out my last final exam (December 13). At present, there are 27 undergrads thoroughly engaged in this little exercise and of course you can cut the tension in the room with a knife. If you're too old to remember that feeling specifically, I'm hoping that some of it will seep through.

Where to begin? Well, to say that the last 12 months have been a whirlwind would be quite the understatement, but I'll go ahead and say it anyway ... the last 12 months have been a whirlwind. Most of you have been reasonably well informed about the Major Life Changes that have occurred during this period, and the rest of you are about to join that crowd. As usual, I'll try to be both brief AND engaging ...

The Move

As many of you know, for about the past decade we'd not been particularly thrilled with the direction that Texas A&M had been heading. Although the Accounting department was able to maintain an astounding level of rationality and my 5-year PPA students were still terrific and a huge amount of fun to be around, the level of dysfunction in Paige's department (Finance) was quickly approaching infinity and the goals of the college and university were no longer within shouting distance of ours. When we finally gave up and admitted that we really had no idea what we were supposed to do with our lives and, most importantly, stopped fighting the idea of leaving, we found out about Trinity's professorship in Finance the very next day. And from there it just got weirder and weirder and weirder, including Trinity being able to fund a similar position in Accounting that had gone unfilled for the past few years. So HERE (click) we are. I think the lesson is that when you genuinely pray for direction you'd better be ready for change.

Do we like it here in San Antonio? Very much. As I've told some of you, U.S. News has ranked Trinity as the top small university in the West for the past 21 years and our goal is to not screw that up. So far, so good. The students are very good and a lot of fun to be around, just like those we've had in the past. The geek factor may be marginally higher here than it is at large public universities, but really I've not noticed any significant interpersonal differences between these kids and ones that I've interacted with in one way or another since ... well ... forever. Enrollment is about 2,500 (as compared to 50,000 at A&M) and obviously the focus is liberal arts. The cool thing, though, is that the Business program is solid and we even have a thriving (if small) Master's in Accounting program. If you were to count the number of peer universities who can check all of those boxes, you wouldn't have to use your second hand. As such, what we are able to offer is rather unique. Is it perfect? Of course not. Every university has its share of egos and hidden agendas -- rather, agendas that people think they are hiding, such that the comic effect is decent -- but our department is fantastic and I really have nothing but good things to say about the school as a whole. And have you seen a better spot than this (below) for me to hold office hours? Me neither. So ... send your kids to Trinity! We'll treat them right.  :)

The Kids

Continuing with the Trinity theme, Reagan transferred here from A&M along with us. While his experience at A&M was basically just a continuation of high school, things here are rather different. He's still majoring in English and planning on being a writer / professor (I think), but he's living on campus and doing the college life bit. His roommate is great and has a mom who is super-nice and ultra-friendly and outgoing and a dad who is very dry and sarcastic. Wow. Sound familiar? Reagan is in the choir (click), he's part of a three-member band that has opened for and will be opening for some guy who was on The Voice (apparently that is a TV show), and he's doing tutoring for abused kids along with other residents in his dorm. I think he may actually like this place more than I do ... which is a Very Big Statement.

The other three kids are doing fine as well. Hunter and Hadley both go to Alamo Heights High School and Hollis goes to Woodridge Elementary (for those of you who know San Antonio). Both of those schools and Trinity are less than four miles from our house, which of course is fabulous. I cannot begin to tell you how happy we are that we decided not to live in the suburbs. Anyway, all three of the kids like their schools a lot, have made new friends, etc. Hunter, who is now a junior, is involved with theatre and choir and is particularly looking forward to the Princeton SAT review classes that will be starting at the end of January. If you don't know Hunter, you can't fully appreciate that idea. If you do, you may finish reading when you have stopped laughing.

Hadley is a freshman this year. I know, I know ... crazy, right?? She plays forward on the JV soccer team and will be resuming her quest for 100m hurdles gold in the spring as well. Her only problems at this point are that high school classes are kicking her butt and she's getting way too interested in boys. Unfortunately those are my problems, too. Wait ... that didn't come out right. I mean that Hadley's PROBLEMS are my problems as well, by virtue of the fact that I am her father. (Special thanks to Paige for serving as Editor-in-Chief). Anyway, Hadley still at least pretends to like us a whole lot and she's not YET exhibiting any of the crazy high school girl tendencies that I've been dreading for the past couple of years. I know it is just a matter of time, but I'll take sanity as long as I can get it.

And finally, Hollis is in 4th grade and has adjusted fine as well. As many of you know, he had crazy ridiculous medical issues beginning in September of 2011 and extending through June of 2012. These things comprised a fair bit of the whirlwind referred to in the second paragraph. Suffice to say that all of our considerable family medical problems have paled in comparison to this one, but we hope that it is now under control. If none of this sounds familiar to you and you want the most recent update (from his surgical procedure in June), here it is (click). Six months after the procedure he is still doing fine (knock on wood), and we remain firmly convinced that this is one of the main pieces of evidence that our placement in San Antonio is Divinely inspired.

Random Stuff

I'm not real sure what is going to materialize in this section, as the entire past year has been both completely random and completely non-random ... and frankly I can't remember hardly anything except medical stuff and the move. But we're 2 hours and 15 minutes into the final and there are still 12 people writing away, so I guess I'll start typing and we'll see how it goes.

• Around the same time that Hollis started having problems last fall, my mom was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. Yeah, 2011 was fabulous. Long story short, she's done everything and had the stem cell transplant and because she basically is perfect and all, she had a relatively easy time of it and is doing fabulously.
• Kate Rusby's twenty-year retrospective -- aptly named, "20" -- was released this October. Buy it. If you don't know who Kate is, you should. Now is your chance.
• If you know anyone who is moving to College Station and who needs a six-bedroom house, let me know. Ours is still available and I wouldn't mind selling it before the mortgage is paid off in 4 1/2 years or so. And as your economics lesson for the day, if you Google "liquid asset," our house will not be pictured. 
• One of the classes I taught this semester was the Business Ethics course for the graduate Accounting students. On the desk in the classroom where I am STILL sitting (15 minutes before the final exam for the Principles class officially ends), there are multiple copies of the final exam for the New Testament class that is offered through the Religion department. Reagan is taking that class next semester. Should I take a copy? I guess not ...
• Book recommendations ... here are three. First up is Wendell Berry's "Imagination in Place." I am a big fan of Berry's work and this is a terrific set of essays. Second is Billy Graham's "Hope for Each Day." This is the best set of short, daily devotionals I've ever seen. Third is the new McCrorie (click) translation of "The Iliad." One of my colleagues in the Classics department here at Trinity wrote the Introduction to this translation, and that alone is worth the purchase price.
• For those of you who are into British comedy, I highly recommend "Father Ted," and "One Foot In the Grave." Both of these series were done in the 1990s and are available on Netflix. As for movies, I don't really have anything in the way of recommendations this year. I will note, however, that it is a good thing I am not Batman ... because if Anne Hathaway had offered me the opportunity of leaving with her on that cool bike (or a broken tricycle, for that matter) instead of hanging around and saving the city, the world would now be short one metropolitan area. A super-hero I am not.

And with that, I'll close. We all hope that you have a terrific and blessed Season. And if your travel plans involve San Antonio, be sure to let us know! When she's not power-washing the concrete in preparation for your arrival at the guest house out back, Paige can be found on Facebook ... and I am available on Twitter (@mkwlkns). Our other contact info is provided below.

God Bless,

Mike (mw0705@mac.com) and
Paige (paigefields@satx.rr.com) and etc ...

1009 Garraty Road

San Antonio, TX 78209

210-314-5336

Thankful Not To Be President

First, let me get this out of the way ... this entry most emphatically IS NOT about the 2012 election. Tuesday's events did not inspire me to take keyboard in hand and rant about the Democrats maintaining their firm grip on the universe or about how I can't wait to pay even more tax than I already do or how I would like to go back to about 1957 when TV was black and white and rock and roll was just getting started and cars were huge and heavy and made in America and you could smoke if you wanted to (I don't) and kids could take pocket knives to school and jack around in the woods when they got home instead of having 27 different structured activities organized by neurotic trying-to-keep-up-with-the-Joneses parents and college students didn't wear pajamas to class and, perhaps most importantly, cell phones hadn't been invented. Election inspiration? Nah. I'm perfectly content to rant about those things every day. My only real thought about the election is how completely stupid I was to not buy puts on banks, hospitals, and defense stocks on Monday. Their performance on The Day After may well be the best reason I've ever seen to doubt the existence of a truly efficient market.

No, this entry is not about the election. This entry is about why I am thankful not to be President. The logic behind my reasoning would apply to most all elected officials, but it particularly applies to the office of President. Actually there are dozens of reasons why I would not want to be President. Among the most obvious would be the fact that the President is constantly having to make speeches, has to pretend to be interested in people that he really could not possibly care any less about, has to wear business professional Every Single Day, and never gets to sleep in. I guess I am just not power-hungry enough, because I seriously cannot imagine a worse job.

But really, the worst part isn't even any of those reasons (although the never getting to sleep in bit would be tough). The worst part has to be getting up and going to work every morning knowing with absolute certainty that roughly half of the people you work for don't like you at all. The degree of dislike ranges from moderate to sheer hatred, of course, but think about it. First, a pretty good chunk of the people who DID vote for you only did so because (a) their heads would explode if they voted for anyone in the "other party" (my 90+ year-old grandmother, who is very bright, very Baptist, and very conservative voted for Carter, Mondale, Clinton, Gore, and probably Obama ... all because FDR was a Democrat) or (b) they were completely repulsed by the other candidate (i.e., you were the least horrible alternative). Beyond that, a vast majority of the people who DIDN'T vote for you chose to vote against you even though the guy you were running against has no soul ... meaning that you have even LESS of a soul (if less than zero is possible in Soul Math). I'm not pointing fingers at anyone in particular here -- neither Mr. Obama nor Mr. Romney. They're both bright and clever and I'm sure they're nice enough guys. But the bottom line is that if you have schmoozed and sucked up and sold out enough that you are actually able to be the Presidential nominee for one of the two major political parties, I wouldn't invite you to a backyard barbecue. Perhaps my lack of admiration for those with political aspirations is unusual. But I don't think it is.

Back to the topic of the day, though ... think about your job. What if half of the people in your office either outright hated you, thought you were a complete moron, or (at best) really wished that someone who was a lot better would be hired in your place? I'm not sure I could take that. Although my job doesn't require being "liked," the whole educational process works a lot more smoothly if I am. I like college students a lot, relate to them well, and tend to be involved in what is going on in their lives. When they see that I am engaged and am interested in them as people, it makes them MUCH more invested in the class (which obviously bumps up their performance). Are there students who don't like me? Sure, for one reason or another. But a sizable majority of them do ... which makes going to the office pretty fun. I can't imagine walking into a classroom where I knew that half of the people wished I would get hit by a bus and a good portion of the other 50% were thinking "he's OK, but I'd drop this section like a hot rock if another one would open up."

So at the end of the day, I guess that a small part of me has to give at least some credit to people who run for President. It's a very small part (maybe like 3.71%) because the rest of me knows that it's all driven by ego, but still ... these guys are able to function with a 50% approval rating. And I'm not sure I have that in me.

Would I really go back to 1957? In a heartbeat. Was Eisenhower perfect? No, but the black and white TV and no cell phones and kids being kids things would be truly fabulous, and I'd love to have a '57 Stratocaster to play through my '57 Deluxe (pictured above ... it's the same model that Neil Young has used forever). New Strats were about $250 in 1957. Those same guitars sell for around $30,000 now, when you can find them in good shape. If I'd just had the sense to load up on Bank of America puts on Monday, I'd be golden ...

Peace,
Mike

ALT/COLLEGE (aka AWFUL) Radio

Duke Ellington is reputed to have said, "there is no such thing as bad music; just music presented badly." I both agree and disagree with this statement. I emphatically disagree with the phrase regarding the impossibility of "bad music." To me, this is one of those inane comments that people who have no idea what they're talking about (sorry, Duke) frequently toss around ... things like:

1) There are no bad kids, just bad parents.
2) There is no such thing as a stupid question.
3) You can be anything you want to be.

While statements such as these presumably are made with the best intentions, they are flat-out wrong. I have known any number of good / decent parents who happen to have annoying kids. Furthermore, although I love and am endlessly devoted to my students, across my professorial career I have heard more than a few stupid questions. And seriously ... anyone who truly believes that a person can be anything he (or she) wants to be either (a) is completely delusional; (b) has never left his (or her) office in the Education department; or (c) both a and b. Thus, in the spirit of continuing to shoot down platitudes, I reject the first part of Mr. Ellington's phrase. I also happen to think that The Duke would've retracted his statement -- or at least altered it significantly -- if he'd had the pleasure of experiencing "Texas Country." But that's another thread altogether.

This brings us to the second half of the statement ... "just music presented badly." And this idea really is the basis for my post today. In a nutshell, what is it with Alt/College Radio?

Back when Ronald Reagan was president and I was in college and America was still The Land of the Free and The Home of the Brave and all that, Alt/College Radio featured bands like Echo and the Bunnymen, The Smiths, the Violent Femmes, early R.E.M., Camper Van Beethoven, Siouxie and the Banshees, the Psychedelic Furs, and the Replacements. The common thread? All of these bands had at least some prayer that their stuff EVER would become popular among an audience of more than three people. In other words, these are bands that were "good" but that couldn't get traction among the mainstream radio stations that were busy catering to people who listened to Cyndi Lauper, Huey Lewis and the News, Survivor, Men at Work, and John Cougar Mellencamp.

Basically, Alt/College Radio used to be sort of like AAA baseball, where the game is played for fans who really love the sport but who don't want to watch replays on the Jumbotron, eat $7 hot dogs, and spend a week's pay for a seat in the right field bleachers. We used to go to AAA games in Tucson all the time. The quality was fabulous, but there was always the potential for crazy stuff. And it was more satisfying, as a spectator, than Major League Baseball. That is where Alt/College Radio used to live. In contrast, the typical Alt/College Radio model for 2012 seems to be as follows: a college student majoring in something that will render him permanently unemployable and who knows zero about baseball goes out and picks up some skater boys and maybe a girl or two who thinks that her notion that life isn't fair is original (and somehow embraceable) and a few random guys who know people who have accordions and bongos and "World instruments" that they can borrow ... and brings them all together and gives them gloves and bats and uniforms and proudly plays video of their intra-squad practice games for all the world to see.

Seriously. Is there no middle ground? Absent satellite radio, is our only choice listening to models and Disney princesses (and their boy equivalents) sing through a computer or listening to people that will never in a billion years sell a record to anyone outside of their immediate family? Maybe I am overstating it. Maybe in real college towns there do actually exist REAL Alt/College Radio stations. My College Station experience most emphatically WOULD NOT support that idea, but maybe places like Athens, GA or Oxford, MS or even Lexington, KY (home of my alma mater) still have their heads on straight. My only experience here in San Antonio involves a local station that rivals Jack in the Box in terms of both quality and (lack of) focus. On my way home from the office this afternoon, the lineup featured a woman trying to sound like somebody who is aspiring to be half as good as Ruthie Foster, some guy who seems to be hoping to be confused with Tom Waits (sorry, there is only room for one person in that space), and a guy who is the lead vocalist / accordionist for his 7th or 8th ill-fated World/Southern Rock crossover band. They even had Contestant #3 in the studio for the afternoon, explaining how he always knew that he was born to be a songwriter (I am not making that up) despite the fact that he has been doing this for many years and is just now getting his first CD printed and is grateful that the people he is opening for here in town (which nobody has heard of either) are letting him try to sell some stuff before their shows.

Really? This is the best we can do?

Don't get me wrong. I have nothing whatsoever against these people pursuing their musical dreams. I just think it's a travesty that they get airtime when truly fabulously talented people like Alex and Janel, Kelly Joe Phelps, Stephane Wrembel, Ben Sollee (the list goes on and on and on ...) are getting nowhere near as far as they would if I were King. Obviously I realize that everything and everybody has to pass a market test. I just wish that the venue through which these endeavors traditionally have been BROUGHT TO MARKET (i.e., Alt/College Radio) would get back to doing just that. That model, to me, is far better than taking pride in playing bad music AND -- by choosing to feature music that does not remotely deserve to be featured -- presenting Music (with an intentional capital M) badly.

Whatever the case, I heartily encourage you to support the artists you enjoy. I'm not going to come right out and say that you should be flogged publicly if you steal music, but that's pretty much where I'm coming from. If you really like a particular band, don't "share" a flash drive or rip a CD ... pony up and GIFT their music to somebody. I've done this dozens of times with iTunes over the years and I'm sure it's just as easy through other outlets. However you do it, do it. After all, you don't do your tax / audit / consulting / whatever work for free do you? I didn't think so ...

Here's to good music, played well.
mw

The Final (Hopefully) Hollis Update

Today's post is not my usual fare. As regular readers know, my blog topics focus on things that I think are clever or amusing, and/or family events that I am likely to want to look back on X years down the line. This particular situation meets none of these conditions. However, we've kept enough people more or less informed about it over the past few months that I figured it would make sense to present the Final Word (or at least the current version of that) right here for those who are interested.

So ... Paige put this together this evening. I will give her full credit as she is the resident medical expert. It is a bit lengthy but we decided to err on the side of full disclosure to satisfy the more inquisitive minds in the crowd. 

Feel free to skim if you don't fit in that box.

---

Dear friends, colleagues, and family,

We pray and hope that as of Wednesday the source of Hollis's ongoing health issues has been identified and the proper solution has been found (and applied). For most of you, a quick background is likely to be needed in order for the solution to make sense. So here goes ...

When Hollis was three he was diagnosed with a Chiari I malformation of the brain. The entire brain is supposed to be positioned so that it sits neatly in the skull. People with Chiari I malformations have the bottom portion of the back of the brain (i.e., the cerebellar tonsils) sagging down into their necks where it causes crowding. Because the back of the head is big and the neck is small, having that extra tissue herniated into the neck area can cause a lot of problems (e.g., blocking the flow of spinal fluid and putting pressure on the surrounding structures and tissues).  A herniation of 5 or more millimeters is a Chiari I malformation. When he was first diagnosed back in 2007, Hollis had a 23 millimeter herniation and almost complete blockage of his spinal fluid.  Because Hollis had symptoms showing that damage was being done by the tonsil position, he had surgery in 2007 to take out a window in the back of the skull, put a synthetic pouch in that area, and file down vertebrae C1 and C2 of the spine to clear some space (like a leaf in a table) so that those tonsils can move up and back to be closer to their proper position. Letting the tonsils have more room allows for better spinal fluid flow and eliminates the bottleneck situation and its resulting symptoms.  The surgery was deemed successful and follow-up MRIs continued to confirm the success as recently as 2009.  Even though the tonsils only moved up to the 21 millimeter position, spinal fluid flow appeared to be adequate.

During the first week of September 2011, Hollis had really bad headaches that we now know were due to extremely high spinal fluid pressure in the brain. By late November there had been repeated pain bouts as well as evidence of bleeding (with no identifiable source) into the spinal fluid.  As most of you know, while there were many tests and additional hospitalizations, the source of the bleeding remained a mystery.  The neurologists and neurosurgeons that we worked with in Houston generally thought that there was bleeding, that the bleeding was clogging up the spinal fluid flow in the ventricles of his brain, and that the clogging and increased pressure were causing extreme pain. For each incident, Hollis had a lumbar puncture to remove spinal fluid and relieve pressure. He would then return to normal, return home, be fine for a few weeks, and then the cycle would repeat.

This past week, a neurosurgeon (and her partner in neurosurgery) here in San Antonio went through all of the information, scans, etc., from all of Hollis’s previous Houston tests. Because he was in a bit of a crisis situation (as he always is when he has these episodes), they decided to put an external drain in his brain that let them monitor his spinal fluid pressure for several days. They determined that what appears to have happened is kind of backward from the scenario described above of bleed, clog, pressure, pain. Rather, they think that something had been causing pressure surges (Chiari patients often have pressure issues) that swept the tonsils (that are already greatly herniated even after surgery) even further into the neck.  Over the years, the area in the neck where the 2007 surgery had been performed had developed scar tissue so that the existing space in Hollis’s neck is even smaller than it was before his surgery. They believe that the cerebellar tonsils pulled down and caused more blockage, and the resulting increased pressure on those tonsils caused a capillary or capillaries to break. The break in the capillaries leaked blood into the spinal fluid which then blocked the ventricles, making the pressure even higher.  So ... pressure surges, tonsils get pulled, more pressure builds, capillaries break and bleed, pressure builds, and on and on.  The lumbar punctures were letting off a lot of fluid and allowing relief, but at some point the whole cycle apparently repeated.

With the external drain in place Hollis was keeping his pressure controlled while lying still.  After a few days, a new MRI revealed that his brain tonsils were only 13 mm herniated (his previous low after pressure-reducing lumbar puncture was 17). The neurosurgeons reasoned that if no event ever caused another surge in pressure for which his brain could not compensate, he would be good to go because the tonsils were higher and in a relatively good position (away from the scar tissue). The problem, of course, is that absent intervention the probability of those tonsils staying “high enough” would be close to zero. After all, he’s had half a dozen episodes since August alone. So ... the lead neurosurgeon placed a permanent shunt in his brain that drains excess spinal fluid (once the pressure reaches a certain level) from the ventricles of the brain into his abdominal cavity. As long as the doctors are correct about the source of the bleeding and as long as there are no problems with the shunt, Hollis should be totally normal. Other than the fact that about 1/3 of his head has been shaved, he looks and acts totally normal.

I apologize for the long-winded note. The situation is/was very complicated, and it took some excellent minds in both Houston and San Antonio, a lot of time, many episodes of suffering and fear, and a truly miraculous series of events to put the numerous pieces of information together (over 18 MRI, CT, and LP items on the radiology records up to the most recent hospitalization) to come to a solution for Hollis. The last piece of the puzzle was our neurosurgeon in Houston being out of town during Hollis's most recent episode and recommending a friend of his in San Antonio. This friend (the woman who performed Hollis's surgery) had a patient many years ago in Hollis's same situation (Chiari malformation, bleed, high pressure, no detectable source). She put a shunt in that patient, and the patient has not had any further problems. 

We thank God for the extremely non-coincidental series of events that has brought us to this point, and we thank all of you for your prayers, positive thoughts, love, and/or support. We appreciate your continued support as we keep our eyes on Hollis’s situation moving forward.

Sincerely,

The Wilkins Family