The Texas Times Volume 25

Welcome to the 25th volume of the Texas Times! Yes, we've been in Kansas for 18 months, but we still have two kids and a house in the Lone Star State so for at least one more year I'm sticking with tradition. And speaking of houses, the people who leased our College Station house for the last three years left in October. So ... if you're headed to Aggieland and you desperately need (or just desperately want) to buy a place with 6 bedrooms, let me know!

With no further ado ... here's the Year in Review.

Kids

Reagan is 25 and has been working for the same company for about two years. He's a software and application engineer at W-Systems (formerly UpCurve Cloud). His original employer, Epicom, was bought out by UpCurve this year and, while the office environment isn't quite as fun as it was before, he seems to be getting along alright. I mean they constantly have dogs in their office and they just went on an axe-throwing trip a few weeks ago, so it certainly could be worse. He's still doing rooftop concerts pretty often and is managing to navigate (or at least ignore) the Austin hipster scene. I don't teach in the spring semester and I'm hoping to get down there to hang out with him for a day or two at some point during the next few months.

Hunter is 22 and graduated from Trinity in May with a major in Art and a minor in Business. He went on a choir ensemble performance trip to China in March and then was in Austria for a couple weeks in August performing Haydn and such for the locals. He doesn't seem to be a huge fan of international travel (?????), but I have to think it was cool performing in St. Stephen's Cathedral. We have no clue what the future holds for Hunter, but we're enjoying having him around as artist-in-residence. If you're interested, you can see some samples of his work here.

Hadley is 20 and is a junior Communication major at A&M. She would love to work with the 12th Man Foundation, so if any of you have any connections where that is concerned please do let me know. Seriously. Former athletes on the list? Other Ags with influence? Let me know. She road-tripped to Tuscaloosa this year to take in the Alabama game (word has it that 'Bama fans are awful) and lost probably two or three years of her life during the seven-overtime win against LSU on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Now that basketball season has arrived I guess she'll go back to being bored and having to spend more time studying than she would prefer.

Hollis is 15 and is navigating high school just fine. He's in the drum line (snare) for band, sings bass in choir, and is taking way too many classes. The schedule hasn't killed him yet but my sense is that the cool factor associated with "being ahead" has, for the most part, worn off. He and I went to Tucson for a few days during spring break, and it was very nice (particularly for me) to be in the desert southwest again. He also had what we thought were complications associated with his shunt (flashback to 2012) in August, but after almost a week in Children's Mercy Hospital in KC, that ended up not being the case. It was just a random infection. And for that, there was much rejoicing.

Us

Paige and I took a few short weekend trips within 3 hours or so of Lawrence this year, including going to the Kansas State Fair and learning, among other things, how to bathe a chicken. We also spent 8-9 days in Rome and Florence in June. Although we didn't bathe any chickens there, it was really nice to be completely away from things for a while. Florence is my favorite city and I enjoyed playing tour guide for Paige. If you missed my blog entries and would like to see what all we did, you may visit the 2018 sidebar (June) here. We also went on our first proper family vacation in several years. I was rather desperately wanting to go to Newfoundland and Labrador so we compromised and went to Oahu. The house we rented for our first few nights is close enough to the actual island from the opening scene of Gilligan's Island that Reagan and Hunter kayaked to it one evening. For that reason and several others, the consensus among the kids was that this vacation was, hands-down, the best ever. I don't know that I would agree, given how much I enjoyed all of our other trips. But it was a fabulous time and I definitely can see taking everyone to one of the other islands at some point. Again, if you missed the blog entries for Hawaii and you want to see them, go to the 2018 sidebar (July) here.

Work-wise, things at KU are good. Paige is still enjoying the Dean gig and has made substantial headway on some important things (including a new strategic plan and a gigantic increase in full-time faculty lines for the School of Business). My work situation is terrific. The accounting faculty are great, I like the KU undergrad and MAcc students, and it's also nice working with doctoral students again. So while there are the usual frustrations associated with any university situation, we do like the work and the people here. We haven't yet learned to eat cinnamon rolls with our chili -- that is a Kansas thing and, no, I'm not kidding -- and Paige isn't a huge fan of temperatures in the teens and snow in November. But for the most part, Kansas continues to get a thumbs-up.

The Year in Entertainment

My top musical discoveries for 2018 -- representative samples linked here -- included Jonathan Stout and his Campus Five (1940s big band music), Chris Jones & the Night Drivers (sort of a blend of Americana, very light bluegrass, and traditional country music), and Cara Dillon (Irish / Celtic). I think Reagan actually likes Cara Dillon more than he likes Kate Rusby. I view that as semi-blasphemous, of course, but Ms. Dillon does have the voice of an angel. I recommend starting with her Hill of Thieves (2009) and Wanderer (2017) albums. And her Upon a Winter's Night (2016) Christmas album is absolutely magical. Finally, you need to check out the Bach Trios album by Yo-Yo Ma, Chris Thile, and Edgar Meyer. As always, my music recommendations are nothing if not eclectic.

I "read" a bit more than usual this year, primarily because I'm now listening to books (using Audible through Amazon) rather than music while I run. Nothing on earth is worse than running, but hearing people with good voices read good books makes it borderline tolerable. The most notable old-stuff entries this year were The Woman in White and The Moonstone (both by Wilkie Collins), while the most notable new-stuff entries were The Cellist of Sarajevo (my top pick), The Alchemist, and The Aviator. The Aviator is written by the same person who wrote Laurus (which I've mentioned in these pages twice, I believe). It's not as good as Laurus, but it's still worth your time. Finally, I'm currently revisiting Powell's four-volume A Dance to the Music of Time, also in audio form. The narrator is Simon Vance and I would be happy to hear him read cookbooks. Vance completely "gets" Powell -- truly, no one writes as British-ly -- and he really makes the work sing. Highly, highly, highly recommended. Seriously, the Powell books are in a league of their own to begin with and this guy kills the delivery.

The year in television has been a bit slower, but The Secret Life of Books (through the BBC or BritBox option on Amazon Prime??) certainly was a winner. 2018 also brought a new season of Shetland and also the final season of Detectorists. Finally, we completed the original Morse series, moved through all eight seasons of Inspector Lewis, and are now looking ahead to the last season of Endeavor. All of those focus on the same setting -- murder in and around Oxford -- and are exceptionally well done, so I'll be sorry when they're gone. It does seem that there is an endless supply of outstanding British crime drama, though, so I feel fairly confident that we'll continue not having much of a problem filling the odd evening.

As the final notable piece of entertainment, we returned to San Antonio for the Final Four in April. Kansas got demolished by Villanova (as did everyone else in the NCAA tournament) but it was a cool experience. Plus we got to eat Mexican food and Whataburger. So there's that.

Random Stuff

Quote of the Year - As I have told various people, Lawrence is Austin's little brother. The best typically Lawrence quote of 2018 came from a waitress who told us, having discovered that we were recent Texas transplants, that she knew we would love it here because "Lawrence is an island of normality in a sea of red." It might not surprise you to hear that this particular waitress has purple hair. Maybe I'll dye my hair purple so that I can be "normal," too.

Prohibited Words List - For 2019 I am introducing a Prohibited Words List. Words are powerful and I appreciate people who are able to use them well. I'm also of the opinion that when words cease to have meaning, they should be prohibited. With that in mind, the entries for 2019 are craft (breweries and distilleries), disruptive (as in disruptive business models), literally (which either means literally or not at all literally), and artisanal (as in artisanal literally everything). Regarding the latter, nothing makes me want to eat hot dogs, Ding Dongs, and Wonder bread more than the word "artisanal." This year, I have seen (among other things) artisanal jewelry, artisanal popsicles, artisanal iced tea, artisanal donuts, and artisanal water. That is not a typo. I'm pretty sure God (and God alone) makes artisanal water. You want more? A few weeks ago, I refused to buy some bread that I really wanted because the grocery had labeled the package as "artisanal ciabatta rolls." People who work in the bakery of a grocery are not artisans. They are employees. Lawrence also has a new artisan pub and coffee house featuring "craft-roasted beans." What does that even mean? Do they roast coffee beans over a fire built from popsicle sticks, googly eyes, pipe cleaners, and other random things from Michael's and Hobby Lobby? People have been making fun of artisanal stuff forever (including Portlandia's fabulous artisanal light bulbs sketch), but it doesn't seem to matter. Maybe I should just give up and start teaching artisanal accounting.

Wakeup call of the Year - After the KU tennis season finished at the end of the spring, I started playing about once a week with the young woman who alternated between #1 and #2 for us. She's a top 50 player and is now in our MBA program. It was very good for me and she at least pretended to get something out of it as well. Anyway, most of the people who work at the KU tennis center knew that we were playing and also know who I am. However, one day back in August I came in and the woman at the desk -- whom I had seen only once before -- says, "Are you here for the Seniors group?" Really? I mean yes I am 51 years old so I could legitimately get an AARP card, but the Seniors group? Maybe I should get some artisanal hair dye. Purple, of course.

In closing, I leave you with this. Regardless of your religious bent -- Christian, Jew, Other, Atheist -- if you have even one musical bone in your body, I have no doubt that you will appreciate this performance. I first became aware of the Wilberg arrangement about ten years ago and it is the absolute best of its kind. There are several recordings on YouTube and this one has the best audio quality, so here we are. Anyway, make the appropriate volume adjustments (ear-splitting is preferred) and enjoy. As my dad would say, if this doesn't light your fire, your wood's wet.

Peace,
Mike and Paige
1118 Brynwood Court
Lawrence, KS 66049
mw0705@gmail.com
lpaigefields@gmail.com

Not Texas

Paige I went to Weston, Missouri (population 1,784) this weekend to take in the Second Annual Whisky and Tobacco Fest, see some antique cars and fall color, celebrate an extremely successful fall semester School of Business Board meeting, and generally get away from town for a bit. The unexpected bonus was finding a very passable Mexican restaurant in Leavenworth, Kansas.

Who knew?

Anyway, I thought I would post some pictures for those of you (i.e., the majority of the distribution list) who live in places where Autumn doesn't exist.

Peace,
Mike

Aloha Part 2

On Day 4 (if you missed Days 1-3 you may find them here), we headed back to the north shore to snorkel at Kuilima Cove. The cove is probably only 300 yards across and 200 yards back-to-front before it hits open ocean, and it is almost entirely protected. We went to Kuilima primarily because almost all of the south and west shore beaches were under high surf advisories. The fish-watching was pretty good -- not as good as the other spots we'd been, but better than I expected (given that it's sort of a novice beach). While we were there, Hunter rescued a five year-old girl who was on the verge of getting carried out to sea on her boogie board, so that was cool. The family was from Idaho and rewarded him by giving him a can of Hawaiian soda. I guess that's better than a potato. Seriously, they did thank him profusely and now the little girl has a story to tell for the rest of her life. After leaving Kuilima Cove, we decided to go see if there were any turtles at Laniakea Beach (the best turtle-spotting beach on the island). We ended up seeing 20 or 30 hanging out in the waves just offshore and another one sunning itself on the rocks.

We hung out at Laniakea Beach for a while and then headed back to Honolulu to return our snorkel gear, eat at a hole-in-the-wall place with authentic island food, and check in at our new digs between Waikiki Beach and Diamondhead. Thursday evening we had dinner right in the middle of Waikiki and spent an hour or so walking around and people-watching. Hadley and Hunter also visited this random parrot guy, and I honestly think that was the highlight of Hadley's week. It's kind of amusing that, while the kids definitely appreciate my role as tour guide extraordinaire, they will remember kayaking to Gilligan's Island and holding parrots more than anything else they did during our stay. As usual, the unexpected parts of a trip are the best.

Our last day began with a stop at Leonard's Bakery, an institution for malasadas since 1952. If you are ever in Honolulu, you need to go there. The end. Our next destination was the Manoa Valley for the Manoa Falls Trail (MFT). Given that the MFT is one of the most popular and easiest trails on Oahu, one would think that I would want to avoid it. And one would be dead right. But I wanted to give everyone at least a little exposure to hiking in a setting that would be somewhat comparable to the things we missed out on by not going to Kauai. The MFT is OK, but if I were you I would skip it. I would particularly skip it if you can't get there by 8 a.m. By the time we were coming back down the trail around 9:00 it was already beginning to stack up a bit and I can only imagine how awful it would be slopping through the mud with hordes of other people ... especially when the viewing area at the falls only accommodates maybe 30 people. So, my advice is to skip Manoa Falls entirely and, instead, continue up the same road about a quarter of a mile and visit the adjacent Lyon Arboretum (run by the University of Hawaii). It's in the same valley, covers 200 acres, has extensive and very well-maintained trails, is blissfully void of people, and honestly was my favorite part of the entire trip -- gorgeous settings, parrots, ridiculous trees, and even more ridiculous flowering plants. We were only able to stay for about 45 minutes but I could've easily hung out there for most of the day.

After finishing up at the arboretum, we returned to the hotel and headed to Waikiki Beach. The kids voted it the worst beach we visited by a substantial margin, and I have to agree. Even though we were on a section of the beach with a bottom that is less rocky than most, it was still pretty awful. The western and north shore beaches are far better.

Our final destination was the Polynesian Cultural Center (PCC). Hadley wanted to go to a luau so I did some research over the weekend and saw that the PCC (a) has luaus and other activities and (b) is run by the Mormons. Thus, our choice was made. The PCC feels like the Epcot Center of Polynesia. The grounds cover about 50 acres and have distinct areas representing various different islands (Tahiti, Fiji, Samoa, etc.) As one might expect, given the Mormon sponsorship, everything is clean as a whistle, very well thought out, and done to perfection. We had picked up some rather fantastic attire on the strip in Waikiki the evening before, so it was an all-in experience. I tried to channel my inner Mike Brady, ala the 3-part trip-to-Hawaii episode (circa 1972), and everybody else was into it as well. Anyway, at the luau itself, the food was decent and the entertainment was fine. The post-luau Ha: Breath of Life show, however, was fantastic. I'll admit to not being super-excited about it initially, but I was very pleasantly surprised. Overall, my assessment is that, while something like this absolutely is the ultimate stereotypic tourist activity, if you've never done it before and you've already done everything else you wanted to do, it's a worthwhile way to finish your visit.

And with that, I'll close. Returning from vacation is always thoroughly awful and I think that in this case it will be particularly thoroughly awful. The good news is that the kids had a blast (as did we) and they are already talking about our next island adventure. We'll see how things go ...

Peace,
Mike

Aloha Part 1

When the kids were younger, we went on serious, long-term family vacations pretty frequently. One year we took our trusty Honda Odyssey minivan (r.i.p.) 7,000+ miles across several weeks in South Dakota, Montana, southern Alberta, Wyoming, Colorado, and New Mexico before returning to Texas. Another year we focused on Rocky Mountain National Park before coming home the same way. A couple years after that we flew to Seattle and then spent two or three weeks primarily in British Columbia and Alberta. Unfortunately, for the last six years the combination of kid health problems (initially), a move, expanding work responsibilities, increasingly complicated kid schedules, and another move put a serious damper on these things. This year I decided that we should try to get the band together one more time. We've never been to eastern Canada, so I thought it would be great to go to Newfoundland and Labrador. Because I don't run a dictatorship, however, we (meaning the rest of the family) settled on Hawaii.

After an uneventful flight to Honolulu on Thursday, we picked up the rental van, headed to Snorkel Bob's (where Paige and I rented gear 20 years ago), and headed to our digs on the east side of the island. Our house is about 20 miles north of Waikiki and sits right on the water about a third of a mile down from Coconut Island. Coconut Island is a research facility run by the Hawaii Institute of Marine Biology that is maybe 100 yards from the mainland. More importantly, Coconut Island is the island shown at the end of the opening credits of Gilligan's Island. The fact that the kids were thrilled by our proximity to this landmark gives me great pride, particularly since Hollis told me a few weeks ago that his friends haven't even heard of Gilligan's Island. Seriously? What kind of upbringing is that? Anyway, the house is fantastic, so if you're ever headed to Oahu and want a place in a terrific location that could sleep 7-8 people comfortably, let me know.

On Friday, we got a very early start for Huanama Bay. The first picture below is of the sunrise from Lanai Lookout. You have my permission to set it as your desktop wallpaper. The second is from the top of Huanama Bay, probably 15 minutes later. If you've been to the bay at any time other than early in the morning, I think you'll appreciate how completely deserted it was. We snorkeled for about three hours and by the time we left things were really picking up on the beach and hundreds of people were filing in from off-site parking. Obviously I felt superior. Anyway, we all really enjoyed the bay. When Paige and I visited 20 years ago, we were lucky enough to see some sea turtles in one of the big holes on the edge of one of the reef areas. This time, despite spending a fair amount of time floating in 20-25 feet of water, we never saw any turtles. We did, however, see loads of different types of fish. The kids had never snorkeled before and Huanama Bay definitely is a great place to get someone started. You get a tremendous amount of fish-viewing bang for your buck and the crowds are avoidable.

After eating like complete idiots at Koa Pancake House, we headed west to visit the Pearl Harbor National Historic Site. The USS Arizona Memorial was closed for construction, which was unfortunate, as we really wanted the kids to be able to have that experience. However, we did spend a couple hours on the USS Missouri and in the Pacific Aviation Museum. Everyone was appropriately appreciative of the position of both Pearl Harbor and Ford Island in U.S. history, and I must say that it was impressive to be able to stand on the very spot (on the Missouri) where Japanese leaders, various representatives from other countries, MacArthur, and Nimitz signed the Instrument of Surrender that ended World War II. There are a couple of large pictures in that area of the ship that show the participants and certain background features (a ladder mounted to the wall, a vent, etc.) that are still hanging where they were 73 years ago. It provides a very interesting perspective. We spent the rest of the day and evening eating Thai food, hanging out, and resting for Saturday.

On Saturday, we left the house long before first light to drive an hour or so to the far northwest corner of the island. Our goal? Kaena Point Natural Area Reserve. From the south, Kaena Point is reached by an out-and-back hike of about six miles that runs between 50 and 100 feet above the ocean. You can also hike to the point traveling west from the north shore and save yourself two miles (but really, why would you do that?). I have no idea what things look like from that approach, but I'm guessing it's probably about the same. Anyway, the Kaena Point website states that the Reserve is "a remote and scenic protected area harboring some of the last vestiges of coastal sand dune habitat on the island, and home to native plants and seabirds. Whales frequent this shoreline during the winter." We had also heard that monk seals visit during winter. We didn't see any whales on our hike, but we did see seals in three different places. So that was an unexpected and much appreciated bonus. Beyond that, the hike itself is terrific, with waves crashing up against the volcanic rock walls for the entire span from the parking lot to the point. Highly, highly, highly recommended, but best in the early morning both to avoid people (always the #1 goal) and to keep from getting too hot.

After getting a bite to eat, we then headed to Makaha Beach. Makaha Beach is about 20 minutes south of the Kaena Point trailhead as you make your way back down Highway 93 toward Honolulu. There are several beaches along this stretch of road, but I had read particularly good things about this one. We were not disappointed. The waves were good for bodyboarding but most of the area was still suitable for snorkeling. Plus, even at noon on Saturday it was completely uncrowded. We stayed there for about two hours and Reagan and I spent probably 90 minutes of that time snorkeling in water that was between 10 and 25 feet deep. It wasn't as fishy as Huanama Bay, but there was more than enough there to keep us interested. Hadley and Hunter joined us for part of the time, but mainly everybody just swam and looked around in shallower water and hung out on the beach. While we were there, a seal swam down the beach about 15-20 yards offshore. So that was pretty cool. Anyway, Makaha is a really nice beach with a lot going for it, so if you're here and you have an occasion to be really far north on the western side of the island I highly recommend it. It definitely is a good spot to cool down after doing the Kaena Point hike. Oh, we also got shave ice for the first time here, thereby ruining us forever on the concept of sno-cones.

To close the books on our first two days, we went to a Mexican restaurant ... Don Goyo's. The entire seating area at Don Goyo's is about as big as our kitchen. The place is run by a Mexican woman and her husband, and a random but super-nice central European woman who buses tables and handles drink orders. Hunter dubbed the Mexican woman -- who was impossibly built -- Silicon Carne, which was the cleverest thing I'd heard in a really long time. At any rate, the food was authentic and quite good (the chili verde was very much on point). Plus, if you need to use the restroom you literally have to leave the restaurant, walk around the back of the group of buildings of which the restaurant is a part, open a creaky gate, find the service entrance to the restaurant's kitchen (an open door through which you can see the husband and a cook), open another door to the right of that door (but not two doors to the right, because that one provides access to a supply closet), and there you are. Good Mexican food in a place with a built-in treasure hunt? I don't know what else you want.

On Sunday, I made the not-at-all-easy decision to ditch our planned Monday flight to Kauai where we were going to spend a couple days doing hiking / exploring stuff. The forecast had gradually gotten worse such that there was an 80% chance of storms all day both days with relatively heavy rain, so instead of risking going and having to stay inside and be unbearably cranky I opted to cancel those plans (insert discussion of sunk costs), adjust to spending all of our time on Oahu, and only be semi-cranky. So ... on Sunday we drove around the east and north shores of the island and had a laid back day. Pretty early on, we stopped to see a monk seal that was lounging on an eastern shore beach. The monk seal protection team was there and had roped off the area, so Paige chatted up the team members and got the lowdown on their operations. We then completed the circuit, had lunch in Haleiwa Town, and saw entirely too many people (which probably is typical for a summertime north shore Sunday).

On our way back to the house, we cut back through the center of the island to make an obligatory stop at the Dole pineapple plantation. If you've not heard of the Dole plantation, think Disneyland for pineapples. Interestingly, the kids had envisioned a dreary tour of an operation with warehouses and conveyer belts and workers in white suits (don't ask me why), so they were pleasantly surprised to find that it's an outdoor, walk around at your own pace, eat pineapple ice cream type of thing. Touristy? And how. But it still maintains a certain appeal.

When we got back to the house, Reagan and Hunter took a couple of the kayaks out into the bay, Hollis worked on his snorkeling skills in the pool, and the rest of us did a lot of nothing. Reagan and Hunter actually ended up kayaking all the way to Gilligan's Island. I honestly think that will be the highlight of their entire vacation. I'm not passing judgment, because I think it probably is the coolest thing that they've done as well. Plus, while kayaking they were visited by a seal and a sea turtle, which made Hadley hate them (bonus points). The plan for tomorrow is to snorkel a couple of north shore spots in the morning (weather permitting) and then head to our digs in Waikiki for the remaining two days. We'll see how all of that goes.

Peace
Mike

Rome, Florence, and Headed Home

Day 5 began with a visit to the Pantheon. It's literally about 100 steps from our apartment and we had passed it probably 20 times, but hadn't gone inside until this morning. The Pantheon was built by Hadrian and served as a convenient place for citizens to worship a variety of gods. The dome represents a feat of engineering that I find impossible to imagine, given the constraints of the second century world. The Pantheon's only light source is a hole in the top of the dome that -- unlike Cowboys Stadium -- is always open, creating a column of light that shifts with the sun and that is clearly visible throughout the day. In case you're wondering, the floor slants noticeably to the edges, allowing rain to drain to places unknown.

Our next destination was the Bocca Della Verita (Mouth of Truth), another Audrey Hepburn highlight. Typically I am rather anti-tourist, but any time I am able to occupy the same space as the second most perfect woman of all time I am going to do it. Legend has it that if you put your hand in the face's mouth and you are a liar, the mouth will eat your hand. Given that literally not a single hand was eaten during the 20 minutes we were standing in line, the most reasonable conclusion seems to be that the legend isn't true. One thing is for certain -- I definitely am looking forward to watching Roman Holiday for the fourth or fifth time after we get home.

Right around the corner from the BDV is the site of the Circus Maximus, which is where the Romans had their biggest and best chariot races (think Ben Hur). According to Pliny -- and really, are you going to argue with Pliny? -- the stadium surrounding the track held 250,000 people. I will let that sink in for a while. That's 50,000 more people than would fit in the Alabama and Texas A&M football stadiums combined. Can you imagine Game Day parking? And don't even try to get your brain around the Porta-Potty situation. Whatever the case, now it's just a gigantic oval / rectangular grass-and-weed-filled depression with roads going around all sides. Again, tourism-by-imagination.

We spent the remainder of Day 5 exploring what used to be the Jewish Ghetto and just wandering around and people-watching. The JG area of the city is my favorite. I had a great kosher burger and some terrific dessert pieces from two bakeries on the corner. If you're there, you can't miss them. The JG is tiny, but has some interesting small shops as well as great views of the predecessor to the Colosseum, which now has apartments built directly on top of it. Don't believe me? This picture is a very good synopsis of Rome in general: covering old stuff with new stuff.

To cap off Day 5, we had Mexican food. There are basically no Mexican restaurants in Rome (seems like a decent market opportunity), but I found one that looked like it probably would be good. The owner has been in Rome for 30+ years, is from Mexico originally, has cooked for various Vatican-sponsored events, and even has written a book featuring 100 Mexican recipes based on ingredients that are found easily in Italy. Plus, the name of the restaurant is La Cucaracha. So I figured we couldn't go wrong. At worst, the food would be terrible but we could say that we ate at a Mexican restaurant with the cockroach as its namesake. Anyway, the food was extremely good and it was nice hearing a bunch of people speaking a language we could halfway understand.

On Day 6, we took a 90-minute train ride north to spend 24 hours in Florence. I presented a paper in Florence in 2016 and spent 5 days there alone. It's my favorite European city, and I was really happy to have an opportunity to give Paige a whirlwind tour. Having seen most of the important stuff on my previous journey, I was able to play Ultrafast Tour Guide through the Duomo Museum (which houses Donatello's wood carving of Mary Magdalene, below, my favorite work of art in any medium), the Bargello, the Baptistery, the Accademia (where Michelangelo's David lives), Santa Croce, and the Santa Croce leather school (new purse? check) all in one afternoon. We also found a restaurant that I had visited before and really liked as well as the worst Asian food restaurant on earth. If you want flavorless beef in cayenne pepper -- I know, I know ... how is that even possible?? -- and chicken curry that tastes exactly like Campbell's chicken noodle soup, look no further than the highly recommended (how???) Alfani 149.

After dinner, we walked over to Ponte Vecchio -- site of the Medici's not-so-secret passageway between their residence and the governmental palace on the other side of the River Arno -- and got gelato for about the 25th time. Then we headed back to the center of town to people-watch, which proved even more entertaining than usual since this week turned out to be Florence Fashion Week (drawing fashionistas and their security guards from all over the world). Paige and I also decided that study abroad programs in Italy probably should be banned, given the hordes of unsupervised and trending-toward-inebriated young women that were around every corner.

On the morning of Day 7, we relaxed a bit and then went to the Museum of San Marco, a former Dominican convent featuring many of the frescoes of Fra' Beato Angelico and a fine series of 15th century illuminated manuscripts. Aspects of the monk lifestyle definitely appeal to me. Actually I guess the only part that genuinely appeals to me is the part where you get to hang out by yourself in the quiet. Anyway, I visited San Marco on my previous trip and thought it was even better the second time around.

In early afternoon, we boarded the train back to Rome, packed, had dinner, walked around a bit more in the JG, and -- you guessed it -- got gelato. We also came back and took the last load of clothes out of our all-in-one-washer-and-dryer (aka The Wrinkler). If you've not had the privilege of using one of these European wonders before, you are missing out. You put in three or four pieces of clothing (because really, who would ever need to wash more than that?) and then turn on the machine to let it run through 2 hours of wash and 2 hours of dry. When you hear the machine stop, you then pull out the damp, not very clean clothes and hang them over chairs to dry for real ... and you end up with a finished product like this. Perfetto!

We head back to Kansas tomorrow morning. In the last seven days, we've had a nice break from reality, seen a lot of cool stuff, and eaten a lot of good food. Despite the fact that my Fitbit tells me I've logged 167,000+ steps (which translates into roughly 76 miles), I plan to stay away from the scales for at least a week. Rome definitely is a worthy travel destination. That being said, I would put it in the bottom half of the European cities that I have visited. Don't get me wrong -- there's nowhere else I would've rather gone this summer and it certainly is a place that people considering travel abroad should keep in mind. It just doesn't have quite the character / appeal (to me) that, for example, Florence, Istanbul, Edinburgh, Paris, and Prague have. Not sure what might be next ... maybe Spain with Hollis, to let him test his pseudo-fluency in a big way? We shall see.

Thanks for checking in and have a good summer.

Mike

Rome, Days 3 and 4

Day 3 in Rome brought visits to three churches, the Scala Santa (Holy Stairs), and two substantially more tourist-ridden places. Our first stop was at Saint-Peter-In-Chains. This church features two cool things, one of which is verifiable. The verifiable thing is Michelangelo's Moses statue, which is awesome. The other thing is the namesake(s) of the church. The church was built in 440 specifically to house Peter's chains (no, the chains aren't that big). The altar contains a case with two sets of chains linked together -- one set that supposedly was used on Peter when he and Paul were being held in the Mamertine Prison (near the Roman Forum of yesterday's entry) and one set that supposedly was used on Peter when he was jailed by Herod in Jerusalem. True or not -- one does have to admire the Catholic sense of tradition.

Next on the list was the Church of San Giovanni in Laterno and the right-next-door Scala Santa. The Church of SGL is famous for being the first Christian Church in Rome, having opened its doors in 318. It was the home of the popes until St. Peter's was finished and the Vatican was renovated. The three coolest things about the Church of SGL are (1) the bronze columns that they swiped from the Temple of Jupiter (ironically, pagan Rome's holiest spot); (2) the gigantic bronze front doors, also swiped from pagan Rome (see Paige in the picture below for a perspective on size); and (3) the Bishop's Chair. To this day, new popes have to sit in the Bishop's Chair to make their election / papacy official. Paige suggested, with acknowledged sacrilege, that I jump the ropes, take a seat, and get a quick picture, but we thought better of it.

As for the Scala Santa, during her pilgrimage to Jerusalem in 326, Constantine's mom pulled some strings and sent back 28 marble steps from Pilate's house that Jesus climbed on the day of his sentencing. (Insert joke about Constantine's fundraising advisors recommending that he sell "My Mom Went To Jerusalem and All I Got Were These Lousy ... " t-shirts.) Anyway, many devout Catholics come to the Scala Santa every day to both see the stairs and climb them on their knees while simultaneously reciting the proper prayer for each step. We were just spectators, of course, but the place definitely has a thought-provoking vibe to it. Baptists just don't have things like this.

Our last church stop for the day was Santa Maria Maggiore. SMM was built in 432, between the time that Rome had been sacked by the Visigoths and the time that the popes started replacing the emperors as the powers-that-be. This church feels older than all of the others, probably because it has some Byzantine-type mosaics mixed in with the other art. It also has a very nice stained glass window. I hadn't thought about this much, but I don't recall seeing many of those here at all. Maybe that was more of a Gothic-and-beyond thing.

Other cool stuff we saw today included a cigarette vending machine (which I think we actually had in the States before the Surgeon General started minding people's business), a place where you can buy priest / bishop / cardinal clothes and accoutrements (presumably with the addition of some sort of secret handshake or union card), and a Metro station example of true government cost-cutting ingenuity. I mean, why actually go to the trouble of fixing a mechanism when you can rig a taped plastic bag with rocks to keep should-be-automatic doors from closing? I also made the mistake of actually going into a men's store instead of just window shopping for lightweight sport coats. I'm not sure my carry-on is going to be accommodating enough, but we will hope for the best. 

After dinner, we spent a bit more time walking around and managed to make it to both the Spanish Steps and Trevi Fountain -- two gigantically popular destinations near the center of the city. I don't entirely get the mass appeal of either place, but nobody asked me. Actually, I do I sort of get the appeal of the Spanish Steps since Audrey Hepburn sat on them in Roman Holiday. But there are countless fountains in Rome (fountains are a good way to show off the fact that you invented the aqueduct). Anyway, as many of you know, legend has it that facing away from the fountain and throwing a coin over one's shoulder into the fountain ensures one's return to Rome. Of course one still has to have sufficient vacation time and enough money to buy a plane ticket, etc., so it seems like a routine of questionable value. But again, nobody asked me. 

On Day 4, we went to the Borghese Museum. Borghese was a cardinal purely because he was nephew of one of the popes. He wasn't religious but he did use his station to set up some fabulous digs and buy an extensive assortment of art and sculpture (some of which would've been viewed as rather scandalous at the time). There is an entire room of Caravaggios. I'm not much of an art guy but I've always liked Caravaggio. The palace also has Bernini sculptures scattered all over the place. I think Paige and I are at the point now where we've seen enough art, sculptures, and churches for a while, though, so tomorrow is mainly going to be walking around and looking at stuff / people in different neighborhoods.

In closing, I have noticed in Rome the same thing I have noticed across Europe. People talk about income disparity in the States, but all one has to do is look at clothing and cars in Italy to notice the effective absence of what Americans would view as a "middle class." For example, of the cars in Rome (I noticed this in Florence and across the Tuscan countryside a couple years ago as well), maybe 5% are mid-level. In other words, virtually no one drives the European equivalent of a Honda Accord. Then you have 10% Mercedes / Porsche (below) /  high-end BMW and 85% cheap, tiny cars with lawn mower engines (below x 2).

So the rich are rich and the "working class" are legion. I guess that shouldn't come as too much of a surprise, given the extent to which most European countries dis-incentivize productivity. If you make less than $40,000 a year in the States, your average tax rate is about 11%. In Italy, it's north of 30%. In Italy, if you make $70,000, your tax rate is over 40%. That's double the rate for the same income level in the States. Never mind the additional 20% Value-Added-Tax on all goods and services you purchase when you're lucky enough to be born in Europe and the added benefit of paying $8/gallon for gas. "Free health care," indeed. And yet -- puzzlingly -- the Italian government is massively in debt (around 140% of GDP) and unemployment is double-digits. Waaaaaaaaiiiiiiit ... you mean that if you tax the life out of John and Jane Doe, they decide there isn't much upside to working hard / innovating and your economy goes down the toilet? Hooray for Democratic Socialism!!

(Ends discussion of basic economics.)

Almost forgot ... here's the grown-up version of the red Little Tykes car that literally everyone with kids knows well.

Peace,
Mike