Thankful Not To Be President

First, let me get this out of the way ... this entry most emphatically IS NOT about the 2012 election. Tuesday's events did not inspire me to take keyboard in hand and rant about the Democrats maintaining their firm grip on the universe or about how I can't wait to pay even more tax than I already do or how I would like to go back to about 1957 when TV was black and white and rock and roll was just getting started and cars were huge and heavy and made in America and you could smoke if you wanted to (I don't) and kids could take pocket knives to school and jack around in the woods when they got home instead of having 27 different structured activities organized by neurotic trying-to-keep-up-with-the-Joneses parents and college students didn't wear pajamas to class and, perhaps most importantly, cell phones hadn't been invented. Election inspiration? Nah. I'm perfectly content to rant about those things every day. My only real thought about the election is how completely stupid I was to not buy puts on banks, hospitals, and defense stocks on Monday. Their performance on The Day After may well be the best reason I've ever seen to doubt the existence of a truly efficient market.

No, this entry is not about the election. This entry is about why I am thankful not to be President. The logic behind my reasoning would apply to most all elected officials, but it particularly applies to the office of President. Actually there are dozens of reasons why I would not want to be President. Among the most obvious would be the fact that the President is constantly having to make speeches, has to pretend to be interested in people that he really could not possibly care any less about, has to wear business professional Every Single Day, and never gets to sleep in. I guess I am just not power-hungry enough, because I seriously cannot imagine a worse job.

But really, the worst part isn't even any of those reasons (although the never getting to sleep in bit would be tough). The worst part has to be getting up and going to work every morning knowing with absolute certainty that roughly half of the people you work for don't like you at all. The degree of dislike ranges from moderate to sheer hatred, of course, but think about it. First, a pretty good chunk of the people who DID vote for you only did so because (a) their heads would explode if they voted for anyone in the "other party" (my 90+ year-old grandmother, who is very bright, very Baptist, and very conservative voted for Carter, Mondale, Clinton, Gore, and probably Obama ... all because FDR was a Democrat) or (b) they were completely repulsed by the other candidate (i.e., you were the least horrible alternative). Beyond that, a vast majority of the people who DIDN'T vote for you chose to vote against you even though the guy you were running against has no soul ... meaning that you have even LESS of a soul (if less than zero is possible in Soul Math). I'm not pointing fingers at anyone in particular here -- neither Mr. Obama nor Mr. Romney. They're both bright and clever and I'm sure they're nice enough guys. But the bottom line is that if you have schmoozed and sucked up and sold out enough that you are actually able to be the Presidential nominee for one of the two major political parties, I wouldn't invite you to a backyard barbecue. Perhaps my lack of admiration for those with political aspirations is unusual. But I don't think it is.

Back to the topic of the day, though ... think about your job. What if half of the people in your office either outright hated you, thought you were a complete moron, or (at best) really wished that someone who was a lot better would be hired in your place? I'm not sure I could take that. Although my job doesn't require being "liked," the whole educational process works a lot more smoothly if I am. I like college students a lot, relate to them well, and tend to be involved in what is going on in their lives. When they see that I am engaged and am interested in them as people, it makes them MUCH more invested in the class (which obviously bumps up their performance). Are there students who don't like me? Sure, for one reason or another. But a sizable majority of them do ... which makes going to the office pretty fun. I can't imagine walking into a classroom where I knew that half of the people wished I would get hit by a bus and a good portion of the other 50% were thinking "he's OK, but I'd drop this section like a hot rock if another one would open up."

So at the end of the day, I guess that a small part of me has to give at least some credit to people who run for President. It's a very small part (maybe like 3.71%) because the rest of me knows that it's all driven by ego, but still ... these guys are able to function with a 50% approval rating. And I'm not sure I have that in me.

Would I really go back to 1957? In a heartbeat. Was Eisenhower perfect? No, but the black and white TV and no cell phones and kids being kids things would be truly fabulous, and I'd love to have a '57 Stratocaster to play through my '57 Deluxe (pictured above ... it's the same model that Neil Young has used forever). New Strats were about $250 in 1957. Those same guitars sell for around $30,000 now, when you can find them in good shape. If I'd just had the sense to load up on Bank of America puts on Monday, I'd be golden ...

Peace,
Mike