Rain, Rain, Go Away

I've heard that the Icefields Parkway between Jasper and Lake Louise (north of Banff) provides some of the most spectacular views in all of the Rocky Mountains. This particular stretch of road runs for about 150 miles along the Continental Divide and supposedly showcases any number of glaciers, thousand foot waterfalls, and terrific alpine scenery. I say “supposedly” because for a huge portion of our journey on Monday, all we could see was the rain peppering our windshield and the clouds enclosing the vehicle on all sides. At various points in time the surrounding landscape was visible, but it certainly was not a picture-postcard day. We were supposed to stop and tour Athabasca Glacier en route to Banff, but the good folks at Icefields Centre indicated that no foot travel was being allowed on the glacier all day because of lightning.

What does this mean? 

It means that before we leave Banff on Saturday, if we wanna walk around on a glacier we’ll have to load back up in the van and retrace our steps roughly 2 1/2 hours up the Icefields Parkway to make it happen.  And I can’t begin to tell you how much I’m looking forward to that. Apart from $5 loaves of white bread and thoroughly mediocre salsa, the only thing that I can manage a complaint about with respect to Canada is the concept of the rental RV. These things are absolutely everywhere -- CruiseCanada, CanaDream, you name it. It seriously seems like one out of every ten vehicles is a huge, white, oversized RV with a rental company’s banner plastered all over it and a complete imbecile in the driver’s seat. I’ve not seen the paperwork that goes along with these things, but I’m pretty confident it looks something like this:

RENT-ME RV RENTAL AGREEMENT

1. Do you personally remember the end of World War I? If YES, proceed to item #10; if NO, continue.
2. Are you willing to have a device installed in your RV that prevents the accelerator from being depressed more than two centimeters? If NO, return to headquarters for training; if YES, continue.
3. Do you know what a roadside pullout is? If NO, proceed to item #6; if YES, continue.
4. Are you willing to have a sensor installed which prevents you from ever using a pullout? If YES, proceed to item #6; if NO, continue.
5. Are you willing to have a sensor installed which -- if some unforeseen circumstance requires you to actually USE a pullout -- will cause you to re-enter the highway at a distance of no greater than 50 meters in front of the next vehicle to round the corner at 90 km/hour? if NO, return to headquarters for training; if YES, continue.
6. Do you know what a passing lane is? If NO, proceed to item #8; if YES, continue.
7. Are you willing to have a sensor installed which will cause your RV to hug the yellow center-line anytime dotted white lines are detected to your vehicle’s right? If NO, return to headquarters for training; if YES, continue.
8. Can you tell the difference between a bear and a tree stump at 10 meters? If NO, proceed to item #10; if YES, continue.
9. Are you tempted to exit your idling-next-to-the-center-line vehicle to take lengthy video of tree stumps? If NO, return to headquarters for training; if YES, continue.
10. Proceed to counter for keys.

That should give you some indication of what we’ll be facing when we head back up the Icefields Parkway. Lovely. Whatever the case, it was about 25 degrees at the Icefields Centre on Tuesday and they got a couple inches of fresh snow to boot. Wednesday should see gradual clearing and by Thursday they’re expecting “cloudy periods” and highs around 55 ... so I imagine that’s when we’ll make our return journey (along, probably, with half the rest of the civilized world). Stay tuned.

Tuesday in Banff was much the same as it was on our lovely Monday drive. Temps never got above 47 and it rained all day. Sooooo ... the kids took advantage of the indoor waterpark (no joke) that goes along with our setup here at the lovely Douglas Fir Chalets. After that, we drove around for the customary couple hours of animal-spotting in the evening and then returned to a roaring fire and two hours of Leave it to Beaver before shutting things down for the night. Believe it or not, the kids were extremely excited to hear that I’d bought Season Three and brought it along SPECIFICALLY for an occasion like this. Yeah, they’re weird (the kids, that is) ... but in a retro kindasorta cool (maybe) way. Anyway, today wasn’t exactly what one would expect from a vacation day in the Rockies, but we managed just fine. 

With a return to good weather predicted for Wednesday through the weekend here in Banff, the next few days look to be quite a bit busier than the past two have been. Hopefully my next blog entry or two will be a little more interesting as well. In the meantime, check out the Photos tab as I’ve posted a few new ones.

Cheers,

Mike