Most of you are too young to remember the Bob and Doug McKenzie “Great White North” poking-a-stick-at-Canadians sketches on SCTV. For those of you who AREN’T too young (or for those of you who are, but are curious anyway), here’s a quick trip down memory lane:
As for us, we “took off” (in the more traditional sense) from Banff on Saturday and drove west/southwest through Yoho, Glacier (of Canada), and Revelstoke National Parks to arrive at the town of Revelstoke on Saturday evening ... and then “took off” from Revelstoke today (Monday) to arrive back in the States this evening. We’re comfortably settled in Cle Elum, Washington at present and will head into Seattle for two days in the city before returning to College Station -- or, as one of our blog subscribers puts it, “hell” -- on Thursday. So ... tonight I’m going to give a brief recap of the final two vacation days in Canada as well as providing my closing thoughts on Canada in general. Beauty, eh?
We spent a good bit of Saturday in the van, traveling from Banff through the other parks to Revelstoke. When we passed through Yoho, we took a detour and went over to see what I believe is the tallest unbroken waterfall in the Canadian Rockies -- Takakkaw Falls. En route, we saw the first (and last) moose of the entire 2+ week vacation. Paige is a true moose lover so I was very glad that we stumbled upon this one. Some other people had stopped ahead of us and moved on, so we stuck around for a few minutes ... finally saw something large and brown in the brush and a bunch of small treetops waving ... backed up ... waited some more ... shut off the van’s motor, clearly heard crunching and munching and snorting (the cover was very heavy so we couldn’t see jack) ... pulled up a little further to try to get a better angle back through the brush and it trotted across the road about 15 yards behind the vehicle. When we came back through the area we stopped to look for it again and were able to see it a little (very little) more clearly and get a couple of pictures. The only completely reliable moose area we’ve ever encountered is the Kootenai Lakes region just inside the U.S. border in Glacier National Park. Getting to them is a bit of a pain, though, as you have to go into Canada, take a boat down Waterton Lake (passing back across the U.S. border on the lake), and hike about three miles into the backcountry to reach Upper Kootenai Lake. We’ve done that on three different occasions and have seen moose every time. Other than that, the supposed moose hotspots usually turn out to be duds. At any rate, this little side trip to the falls turned out to be unexpectedly productive, which was fab.
From there, we drove through Canada’s version of Glacier National Park and along the boundary of Revelstoke National Park. We stopped a couple of times for short walks but generally were just focused on getting to Revelstoke. Once we got there and ate (Nomad’s is highly recommended), we drove to the summit of Mount Revelstoke, walked around a bit up there, and planned a hike for Sunday. According to the park’s literature, the trail I picked out was a 7 mile “peaceful stroll” (direct quote) from the summit to a particular lake and back, with only a 45-foot elevation gain. Now ... most hikes in rugged ranges like this that either start or end at summits have a tendency to chew you up and spit you out, so I was more than a little bit curious as to how someone had managed to engineer a 7 mile “peaceful stroll” from the top of Mount Revelstoke. I’ll spare you the details, but let’s just say that (1) while the NET elevation gain probably was only 45 feet, standard deviation would’ve been a far more useful measure; (2) neither Paige nor Hollis (nor anyone else except Hunter) is really a fan of exposed sidehill rock scrambles, which were an integral part of the last mile of this route ... so ultimately I cut out the final half-mile climb to the lake; and (3) I have never seen so many horseflies and other bugs in my life -- not even on the Belly River Trail in northern Montana, which has held that particular honor for almost 20 years. The views we had on Sunday were gorgeous and the insect repellent, by and large, worked ... but when we got back to the summit, there was much rejoicing. All in all, our Revelstoke experience was very good. But at this point the kids definitely are hiked out and are ready for something different. Seattle, here we come.
As promised, my final observations for today relate to Canada in general. I’ve talked quite a bit about how fond I am of it as a country. But I probably should qualify that by saying that the version of Canada I’m enamored with is the version that involves places where very few people live ... like the northern half of most of the provinces that border the lower 48 and presumably both halves of the other ones (I’ve not had the good fortune of visiting them ... yet). The places that have people in them are just as annoying as most of their U.S. counterparts. So at the end of the day, I guess I’m just saying that I am a big fan of isolation -- which obviously comes as no surprise to anyone who really knows me -- and it seems to me that it would be simpler to find true isolation north of the border than in the States. Stated differently, if I CAN’T have isolation, I’ll stay right where I am thank you very much. Land of the Free, Home of the Brave, and Country Where You Don’t Have to Pay 25 cents to Use a Grocery Cart.
No, I am not kidding.
Last but not least, where Canada is concerned ... I finally figured out why airline miles are associated with absolutely everything up there. For the first few days I always said “What?” or “Excuse me?” or just gave a questioning look when the grocery checkout person / convenience store clerk / gift shop owner / waitress / homeless person asked me for my airline miles number. I half expected for there to be a mystery voice asking me the same thing every time I flushed a john. Initially I had no idea what to think, but I’ve gotten a bit of clarity over the past couple of weeks. It’s because Canada has the worst system of roads and the most incompetent highway management in the entire civilized or uncivilized world. If you lived up there, you’d realize that ... and you’d want to fly everywhere ... and obviously you’d demand that you get airline credit every time you bought a pack of gum or blew your nose.
Case(s) in point?
As mentioned above, we left Banff on Saturday and headed out on our drive through Yoho, Glacier, and Revelstoke National Parks. I noticed that traffic was a little heavier than it had been on other days but chalked it up to an absolutely gorgeous Saturday (makes sense, right?). When we got to Yoho, however, I noticed a sign that said “Canada Parks Day, July 17, 2010 -- Free Admission to all National Parks!!” Terrific. The one day I pick as a travel day just happens to be on the second worst day of the year (behind Canada Day, on July 1, which we hit in Waterton three years ago) ... and I just happen to be traveling through three parks on this day ... not really because I want to, but BECAUSE THERE ARE NO OTHER ROADS ANYWHERE. Paige noted today that each province has one north-south road and one east-west road and that’s not too far from the truth.
Anyway, it’s fine ... we’re not in a hurry at all ... we get through Yoho and traffic is completely ridiculous but it’s moving ... and then between Yoho and Glacier, it grinds to a halt. As in stopped. As in like it was for blasting outside of Lake Louise earlier in the week (see Saturday’s entry).
So I turned the motor off, just like I did on the way back to the Columbia Icefields.
And we sat there.
For 28 minutes.
At about noon.
On a Saturday.
In a National Park.
On Canada Parks Day.
When the Canadian Government has used “free admission” to incentivize everyone to go visit their amazing Canadian National Parks.
Is it just me, or is this beyond stupid? Do you think MAYBE the government should have STOPPED their absolutely never-ending National Park road construction projects for just this one day?
About 5-7 minutes after I turned the motor back on we had passed the 15-foot section (no lie) of road that they were re-paving. By that time there were already 157 vehicles (again, no lie, I counted) lined up in the lane of oncoming traffic. I’ll let you extrapolate from there and develop your own model for predicting precisely how long that line would’ve been in another 20 minutes or so.
Unbelievable ...
I had almost forgotten about this until we left Revelstoke this morning and were subjected to four hours of pure torture between there and the U.S. border. Actually the first hour or so was more or less OK. But once you get to Vernon, you’re pretty much driving through a continuous lakeside town (complete with stoplights, speed zones, and the like) until you get to the United States. I have never experienced anything quite like it. I guarantee that it is the longest two-lane, 40 mph average, 110 miles you will ever experience in your entire life. So THAT, friends and neighbors, is why you too can earn airline miles with every visit to your local Canadian 7-11.
I do love Canada. Dearly. But like everything except family, it’s not unconditional ...
Cheers,
Mike
No comments:
Post a Comment